Yes, this is a blog about food. But I also love to look at what started me on this journey of finding out what I truly love. We all have life experiences which are very educational and most often enjoyed in restrospect. Here is one of mine.
In 2003, I graduated with a Business Finance degree from the University of Utah. At that time I was working as a Teller for Bank One, now Chase. I applied for numerous jobs within the bank but no positions were offered. My wife was back in school, our savings was running low and I was feeling desperate.
Finally I interviewed with a mortgage loan servicing company. The interview went very well and two days later I was extended an offer. I accepted the job over the phone but couldn’t ignore the sick feeling that I had inside of me. For two weeks I justified the feeling; telling myself that we needed the money and this was an answer to prayers.
On a Monday morning I showed up for work, putting on a good face while the sick feeling still resonated. They trained me but honestly, not much training was required. If you have seen the movie “Office Space,” my job was very similar.
It was my responsibility to copy the loan number from a spreadsheet, pull it up in the company’s software and see if the borrower’s were current on their taxes and insurance. If they were current, I typed “FINA;” If they were not current, I sent an e-mail to an employee in another department. That was it!
On my first day, I could analyze 400 loans. By my last day, 8 1/2 months later, I could still analyze 400 loans. Why no improvement you ask? I soon learned that if I finished a spreadsheet, then I got another spreadsheet sent to me.
This was so frustrating to me. I am an incredibly hard worker but my motivation was zero. There was no variety and my anxiety and unhappiness started to manifest itself physically. I was out of shape and getting heavier by the day. To cope with my unhappiness I drank 1 or 2 super big gulps of Dr. Pepper per day. I also usually ate fast food and snacked on candy all day.
It was so exhausting to look busy. How to fill 7 1/2 hours a day was incredibly draining both physically and emotionally. Most of the people in my department surfed the internet all day. One guy would have phone interviews for other jobs while he was sitting next to our manager.
Ultimately, I was having borderline suicidal thoughts, my wife disliked being around me and I was going crazy. I took the jump and quit with no guarantee of anything or even another job.
Lesson here: listen to those feelings within. They are telling you something.