In listening to a friend give a talk in church years ago, he shared how it seems that the days are slow but the years are fast. He elaborated on that: we have so many commitments that one 24 hour routine can take a while. But then it’s time for another birthday, another Christmas, another celebration. And often, another reminder that we quite haven’t done what we set out our hearts to do. There is always next year right?
Last evening we were at back to school night for my daughter. She is 5 years old and will be starting kindergarten today. In one hour, I will be helping her get ready. This is an emotional time for me as I have spent so much time with her over the years. I often took her to preschool and picked her up; went shopping with her; wandered the neighborhood; went to visit grandparents and went to the treat store (almost daily on that last one). Often days felt long as I was in my routine with her–get up, do some work, get her up, get her ready, get her to school, do a lot of work, pick her up, feed her lunch, get her some quiet time, do some more work and then get ready for the next day.
Now in a few months she will be 6 and I am saying, “where did those years go.” The last year in particular. As I wrote in the post last fall, “And So I Write,” I loved the opportunity to write my food blog for a number of years. It was especially fun to write for City Weekly where I got paid to write and eat. What a joy. That ended when the publication, like many, decided to cut back. This was last October and actually came at a good time.
My wife was getting ready to make a transition from her firm to opening her own consulting business. It took much time and energy, both physical and mental. I needed to be there for that. My real estate work has been busy. With all the commitments, I really felt pulled in too many different directions. When that happens, you are not doing your best work–on anything.
I kept telling myself that I will write again once I get pass this particular deal, project, fatigue, etc. The days have certainly been long, one phone call can make it longer it seems. And now almost a year has gone by; a year since I was writing regularly. They say that when you let go of something, either it will drop out of your life completely (which for some things is good), or the pull to do it will get stronger. I have ignored the pull to do it.
Can’t do the ignoring any longer. Yesterday, I pulled off the side of road and wrote down what my rocking chair regrets would be. The main one–“not writing.” Maybe it’s not exactly practical, but it’s therapeutic and fun for me. It lifts me up. It gives me energy.
What is the one thing you have been ignoring? The one thing you keep saying you will get to tomorrow? Tomorrow never comes.